Monday, 4 April 2011

The Hangover Diet...

It’s Sunday morning and light is pouring in through the window like an unexpected golden shower.  My eyes, half sealed, seem to be telling me I’m swimming through Vaseline...  I’ve got one or two seconds before I realise what’s going on and the pain hits. 

In my mind it’s at this point the Gin soaked tramp that is my brain bungees off a bridge called shame into a river of broken glass.  Each and every hang over is unique it seems.  They range from the gentle dull thudding mid week headache of one too many after work drinks.

Moving through to that violent shuddering nausea induced by a Stag do that ends in noiseless retching.  The type of horrible dry heaving that leaves you gently hugging the toilet bowl till you fall into sweet welcome unconsciousness.

Eventually I realise food is my only hope.  When my stomach stops threatening me and those hastily swallowed painkillers start to take the edge of the pain I begin that slow shuffle towards the kitchen.

Normal food conventions go out of the window when you are hung-over.  When your dietary requirement falls simply to what can be kept down and what takes the least effort to make your choices tend to be fried and wrapped in bread!

For me the kill or cure breakfast has to be the Sausage sandwich.  The Effort vs. Speed ratio dictates cooking them in an oven.  Somehow though this simple technique is often forgotten due to the alcohol or the lack of sleep and I’ll spend the next 30 minutes running between the stove and the smoke alarm.

Banger sandwich done and it seems perfectly logical to follow it with sleep.  Occasionally waking up only to shout for tea!  Every year I get older the hang-overs get worse and I think I'll need to start being careful one of these days...  

What gets you through those dark times though?  If you've got any tried and tested remedies let me know!


  1. That's pretty much a description of me yesterday morning. Didn't have to make the sausage sandwich though, I bought it on Leeds farmers market.

    I find a bit of spice helps sometimes, so have eggs scrambled with chilli and whatever else is around (tomatoes, spring onions, maybe some chorizo).

  2. 4 million painkillers and a bath followed by a can of sprite. When food seems inevitable: spaghetti, butter, pepper and parmesan. Or extra hot pho, if I can make it outdoors (for pho I usually can).

  3. Pint of water, some painkillers, a lay down to moan and groan at my lot in life. Then, perhaps back to bed for a light sleep followed by waking up with the thought 'perhaps I should eat something'. Headache replaced by a dull ache. I make something fatty and fried, eggs certainly. Bacon or sausage or both, mug of tea. A shower. Im right as rain again, ready to do it all again.

  4. @Dave @The Shed - I'm with you on the spice front, you can't really see it but the bread is doused with Chohula as well!

    @Dan I can't handle a shower with a hang over, little too much like water torture for me!

  5. This is going to make me sound manically healthy, which obviously I am not as I get hangovers, but miso soup is the biz here, with added chilli and tamari. Works every time for me.

    Mind you it did not help the massive bruise on my forehead from when I fell up the step into my bathroom last week.

  6. A sachet of Dioralyte, followed by 1000mg of effervescent Vit C and THEN sandwiches and lots of lying down.

  7. When I'm usually on a hangover, I can't eat. I just drink coke all day but nothing cures it.

    Nowadays it takes up to three days to fully recover.

  8. @Helen It does make you sounds quite healthy, does nothing fried tempt you?

    @Alex That sort of diet has saved me on many a lads holiday. Soluble Codeine and Paracetomol with a Berocca thrown in! Does the trick.

    @Daniel I know the feeling, mine take two days to fully recover properly but I think they'll just get worse as I get older :^D

  9. I'm with Helen here. Spice up the miso soup and add a splash of lemon juice.

    The writing is beautiful, btw!