Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Dirty Food Secrets...

So dirty but so good...
I love dirty food secrets... Everyone’s got one lurking in the back of the cupboard or fridge. I’m talking about the kind of food you eat when you are on your own, when no one is watching or when you just need that little bit of comfort. I’ve known a lot of strange combinations over time that people think are perfectly normal until someone points out what they are doing.

Mine have changed over the years, when I was a child I used to love Cheese Spread and Jam Sandwiches dipped into a cold glass of milk. I think a lot of these food fetishes develop over the years mostly out of necessity but all reek of natural curiosity for tastes and flavour.  A quick straw poll on twitter revealed some brilliant results; Wholes tubes of Taramasalata, Corned beef, Kidney beans and Mayo sandwiches on wonder bread, Beans on Toast with Salad Cream, Fray Bentos and Branston... To name but a few.

Compared to some of the above my current dirty food secret feels quite tame but as an ex-chef I really should know better. I love Frankfurters, I can eat whole packets of them in a sitting. Cold straight from the fridge, micro-waved and dipped into ketchup or my absolute favourite and slightly more traditional. In soft white rolls with American Mild Mustard and Squeezy Cheese. I’d like to add that 8 frankfurters were consumed in the time it took me to take the photo’s for this.

So come on then, what’s your dirty food secret?


  1. Nothing wrong with a bit of squeezy cheese on hotdogs!

  2. Sandwich spread.

  3. Herta right? Gotta be a Herta Frankfurter.

    "The Continentals like a 'furter
    And Herta's one they really like.
    They make a feature on a pizza;
    They're really wild with rice


    My dirty secret is I quite like eating PEK straight from the tin.

    Can't stand SPAM, but PEK is beeyotiful.

  4. Cheese and mayo sandwiches... Heart attack in a sandwich

  5. @MiMi It has to be Herta! PEK aye? Quite like that stuff myself as well. Battered and Deep Fried with Mushy Peas and lots of Vineger it's heaven.

    @Jez Cheese and Salad Cream for me, proper love it!

    @Carla Mature Squeezy Cheese as well... I'm proper classy!

    @Anon If you ever come back please elaborate? Which spread are we talking Meat based or Fish/Crab?

  6. Bread and butter pudding.. I will overcook it til it souffles and then stand at the counter and eat the lot.

  7. Ever tried a babybel melted in the microwave? (shhhh, don't tell)

  8. @Deanna

    OOH YES! Try wedging a Babybel inside a croissant and then zapping it - PURE HEAVEN!

  9. Cold beans, cold beans straight from the tin, maybe with a dollop of chilli sauce added for good measure. Sometimes I dip a whiffy piece of vintage cheddar into those beans (still in the tin). MMMMMMMM.

  10. Flavoured seaweed. I eat it until my teeth are all black and speckly.

  11. I have too many to mention. I like supernoodles, peanut butter smothered on toasted bagels, battenberg cake (which i refer to as window cake), cheese on beans on toast (with extra salt and pepper), gherkins straight from the jar... I could go on.

    I also love hotdogs. I make patterns with the mustard and ketchup. And they have to have fried onions.

  12. This is slightly gross and very un-foodie of me--but I'd have to say I secretly have a love for franco american spaghetti O's out of the can. (not even my boyfriend knows this)
    Fortunately for me, (and the readers of my food blog) I make purchase of said food almost never. Although now that I actually am typing this out, I may have to make a franco american run tonight when I get home from work. :|

  13. I endorse your choice of hot dogs entirely mate. I love em, especially the fat Herta ones in a floury roll with mustard and ketchup. I can also happily eat a whole pack.

  14. My dirty food secret is cheeseburgers from Iceland.

    I only ever go there to buy them and have to wear dark glasses and a head scarf in case anyone sees me - they are two beefburgers with the cheese in the middle and are lovely cooked on the bbq

  15. Never heard of squeezy cheese but it sounds intriguing...

    My boyfriend loves his dad's classic 'Spaghetti Cheese', which is just spaghetti mixed in ketchup with grated cheese on top. (Needless to say, I cannot abide by it.)

    My guilty pleasure which I have pretty much every Sunday night (if no one else is around) is (hot) pasta with tuna, sweetcorn a load of mayo with lashings of grated cheese.

  16. @Jo Savoury or Sweet?

    @Becci Super Noodles + Peanut Butter + Soy Sauce = Awesomeness

    @Deanna I'm definitely going to be trying that, love em in a cheese toasty with Marmite!

    @Grub I've been there, it's a dark place but sometimes cold beans just work!

    @SaSa hmmm never tried seaweed like that...

    @RiffRaff I have been known to eat a Rustlers or 6 in my life so I can understand where you are coming from.

    @Chesrow Loving the levels of actual guilt... Spaghetti O's and Sausages are beautiful on toast with some cheese.

    @Voneron Tuna Mayo is champion but Sweetcorn? Just wrong on so many levels :P

  17. Ooh yes, and when I'm feeling really adventurous a little paprika and some red onion :)

  18. Heinz tomato soup with little cubes of cheddar stirred into it, and digestive biscuits spread with peanut butter and nutella. Yum Yum Yum.

    My house mate had marmite and mayo on toast yesterday I did't fancy trying that one.

  19. Lurpak butter sliced thickly onto Jacobs cream crackers.Also beans with fried chillies when skint aptly named 'Beans Mexicain'.Obviously on toast.

  20. I eat my hot-dogs with peanut-butter...

  21. Peanut butter & strawberry jam sandwich!

    Heaven :)

  22. Fab blog Paul! I've been known to chow down on a bombay bad boy pot noodle or two in my time and i'm not ashamed to say i have dipped ciabatta bread into the deliciously thick curry *flavoured* sauce that greeted me at the bottom. I wonder why i'm not the size 12 i used to be.... Hmm.

    P.s Ultimate guilty pleasure number 2 would be chicken dippers arranged over a salad to make me feel as if i am not a total tramp.

  23. Chicken dippers! Haha love it, stick em in a sandwiches with a cheese slice, a little mayo and some lettuce and if you close your eyes you could almost be in KFC!

    It's amazing what you can come up with when you are drunk and hungry :^D

  24. Five words describe my dirty food secret..Finger. Dipped. In. Nutella. Jar. God I hate myself right now!